Friday, July 14, 2006

Just shoot me

Sometimes you get more than you bargained for. Some of those times you have a choice in the matter, like the ridiculous Iowa woman who took fertility drugs and presto! -- for pregnant with septuplets that eventually stacked up in her like a human pyramid at the circus, but she wouldn't consent to culling any embryos when they realized they were going to have a litter of puppies, because she and her husband met at Bible college, y'see, and it's God's will and all, so she had all seven babies, several with developmental problems, surprise surprise. It's her choice, though I'd sue the doctor for lifetime child support for about six of 'em. This dude didn't do an IVF, which limits the number of embryos you wind up with -- he just said "Let's pump 'er fulla Pergonal, stick in the ol' turkey baster and see whut happens!"

Then there's this family in L.A. just the other day that already had two daughters and decided they wanted more, so they did fertility treatments -- OK so far, though I would have stopped at two -- and then had triplets. Yikes, but not ludicrously hopeless. Until she got pregnant again without fertility treatments. We don't know whether the pregnancy itself was planned or not, though it very well might not have been, even after infertility and an IVF baby, as I can attest. And so... she had quintuplets. Including identical twins. And they have a one-bedroom apartment. But it's OK for now because the living room is "pretty big." So that's nine kids, including seven who are three and under. Meanwhile, you have folks who have contraceptives but also way too much money who are building 5,000-square-foot McMansions for a family of four. On the other hand, it could be wrose -- the L.A. family could be living in a Tokyo apartment. Then they'd go to a love hotel and wind up exacerbating the population problem, or maybe just kill each other and be done with it.

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