Do the Yak

Sometimes I go a few days between blog posts, because I simply can't think of anything interesting to write about. Not that my life is dull or anything, but it's just that I don't often go into my bathroom and encounter duelling deodorants . The demonization of Obama by the Republicans has predictably begun. It's early yet, but fortunately they seem to be not very good at it so far. I'm with Maureen Dowd -- I'd rather have Obama's flaws than W's any day. The girls are finishing up a week of YMCA camp and loving it. On Monday they start six weeks of camp in town, where hopefully there will also be several of their friends from school. I had some apprehension before this week about putting them somewhere where they didn't know anyone -- worried that they would feel scared or homesick, but once again I was projecting myself at that age onto the girls, who thankfully are much less shy and fearful than I once was. Tonight they're being watched at ho

...though of course the religious right is trying their best to turn it into something as hateful as they are themselves. I refer to the legalization of gay marriage in California; the New York Times has some really heart-warming wedding photos here , including Star Trek's Sulu (George Takei) in #9. Just seeing the people in these photos -- their love for each other, the relief and quiet vindication -- how can anyone say this is bad? When there is genuine commitment and caring and happiness between two consenting adults, how can this be bad? What happens in the bedroom is just a side issue, mere mechanics. Plenty of heterosexual couples have emotionally or physically unhealthy relationships, do not have sex, have sex in ways the religious right would find objectionable, choose not to procreate, or abuse and neglect the children they do produce, but if it's between a man and a woman, none of this matters, apparently. Religion is for the birds. I'm comfortable raising my ki

Yet another reason to having daughters rather than sons, at least in the years when you have to accompany them to public rest rooms . I had no idea men's rooms were so icky. Its' bad enough with the girls in reasonably clean women's rooms when you have to guard against the Terror of Automatically Flushing Toilets by holding your hand over the sensor. Update on Ben's little talk with his mother yesterday: as planned, she was told that she's staying indefinitely at her Alzheimer's residence, and the staff henceforth will reinforce this message. I was afraid she would react with anger, grief, etc., but actually she did not -- because those reactions would have implied some level of acceptance. All she did was argue around and around (forgetting the rebuttals and facts from the previous go-round) and make some references to taking Ben to court, since he has power of attorney. She would never be able to do that, owing her state of forgetfulness and lack of follow-thr

Ben meets every three months with the team of caregivers at the Alzheimer's facility where his mother G. has been living for the past year (the saga began here ). Like many of the residents, she believed when she arrived that she was just just "trying the place out" and would be going home soon. Somewhat less typically, she persists in this belief after a full year, along with her refusal to acknowledge that anything serious is wrong with her memory or that she cannot live alone safely. The care team didn't try to dismantle this fantasy at first, but now they've said it's time to make her face reality because her belief that she's going home soon is interfering with their attempts to help her. So... Ben is on his way there now to have a meeting with G., the care team and even G.'s former therapist from New Jersey, to tell her unequivocally that she is not going home and that her house is being sold. Ben has been dreading this for months because she has

Yesterday I drove down to Connecticut for a simple memorial service for an old friend I'll call Ann. I worked with her and P. at a small newspaper; the two of them eventually fell in love and married, we all moved on to new jobs and states, but I remember that period very fondly, as do many of us who were there around the same time. P. said a few words and invited us to scatter some of her ashes below a tree around which he he had planted some impatiens and scattered pink rose petals. Since he is a writer and a good one, his eulogy was spare but brilliantly evocative of what kind of person Ann was -- irreverent, funny, tough, incredibly stylish, warm. She was not a journalist (she was in the advertising department at the paper) but certainly had the wit and attitude to be one. She also had the best and most original taste I've ever encountered. It's not so hard to have good taste if you have money to afford the best materials and fabrics, the best designers, the best shops

I watched part of McCain's speech he gave to a few dozen old white folks in Louisiana over the weekend, and all I can say is, maybe there's hope. The difference in speech-making skill between him and Obama is gargantuan. I mean, the guy can't even read a Teleprompter, and every time he smiled I just cringed, because those smiles were obviously a general coaching tip from someone ("Smile, John, goddamit!") but were inappropriate in context and so forced as to be embarrassing. The speech -- both delivery and content -- made him look like a frighteningly old and clueless fool. He looked like he's never been happy or excited a bout anything in his entire life. Of course this speech will go the way of all YouTube content in a few days, but we can only hope this is the type of performance that will be repeated throughout the campaign.

Hillary gave a great concession speech Saturday. Electoral-Vote.com has a pretty good post mortem on her campaign, as well as a link to an interesting proposal afoot for changing the way we elect presidents , which sounds sensible to me at first glance. After weeks of chilly weather, most recently accompanied with persistent drizzle, summer broke out in a hurry this weekend -- sunny and into the 90s both days. Saturday was devoted to errands but yesterday we mowed the lawn -- a lengthy and sweaty undertaking, as this was the first time this year we'd done it, our yard has a hill and it was in the 80s before noon -- and then hiked over the hill to the pond. It's really a perfect place. The kids have a blast just playing in the water four hours, and Ben and I join them for a lot of that time, but there are lifeguards and a rope keeping them from deep water so we can relax when we're not swimming with them. There are tadpoles to catch, docks to jump off, sand to lie on and di

Ben and I got tickets through his college to the Red Sox game the other night. The seats weren't great (the foul pole was in our line of sight to home plate), nor was the weather (drizzly and cool), but it's always nice to have that group Fenway experience. Chatting with the complete stranger behind you, drinking overpriced beer and eating a squishy hot dog, doing the wave, singing "Sweet Caroline," chanting "Let's go Red Sox!" (clap, clap, clapclapclap), hitting the beach ball as it comes by, watching the guys in the center field bleachers add red "K" signs to the series of letters forming Josh Beckett's name -- BECKKKKETT after four strikeouts, though some of the K's are backwards, indicating th batter struck out looking rather than swinging... it's all good. Too bad we'd have to take out a second mortgage to go as a family, even if we could obtain four decent seats to any game ever. Of course we could pay double the face valu

The primaries are finally over and Obama has wrapped up the nomination. The big question remaining is what Hillary's role will be. There's talk of Obama picking her as his VP but I just can't see it. She and Bill won't be able to help drawing attention away from Obama, and that will diminish him in the eyes of voters, making him seem more like the junior member of the team. Lots of road-trip fun the last two weekends. The first was a trip to this swell resort in the Berkshires, courtesy of an old colleague of Ben's. He had his wedding at another hotel nearby and threw a 10th-anniversary bash at this place (fortunately we go a discount on the room, and the food and drink were free -- and excellent). A bunch of the people were guys who started this company that ultimately got bought out; the guys are super nice, and most of them had their wives and kids along, so that made out kids happy (that and the indoor pool; add that to the mix and a slow trip through hell woul