Friday, April 07, 2006
It's horrifying but true. Tomorrow morning at approximately 9:15 a.m., I will officially become a soccer mom. Sarah will begin her illustrious career with the Eagles and I will try not to gaze with too much contempt at the other parents' minivans because I am now One of Them. Then on Sunday starts another round of swimming lessons (Level 2! Yeah, baby!) for both kids. Am I a pushy jock-mom? Lord, I hope not. I'm only trying to compensate for my own parents' total lack of pushiness or even interest in physical activity of any kind. I never played any kind of organized sport even at the lowest level (though I would have played Little League only they broke the gender barrier a year too late for me). I hated gym. I was a big-time couch potato. My parents? Mom liked to say she rode her bike every day as a college student (Hel-l-l-l-0 Mom? That was 40-some years ago and DOES NOT COUNT ANY MORE). She wound up with terrible osteoporosis, including a lower leg shattered into a million pieces and being bedridden for months. The last time Dad exercised on purpose was approximately 1955, when he broke a leg skiing, threw a clot to his lung, had his leg artery tied off and called it a career. Somehow he has defied every actuarial table by being in rather good health in his mid-70s (oh yeah, he also quit smoking about a dozen years ago after sucking down three packs a day for about 40 years). Now the daughter of these two outstanding specimens of physical culture is starting to exercise in her mid-40s and actually enjoying it, especially yoga, much of which can be done sitting down in a dimly lit room with New Age Indian music playing softly in the background. But I also do the treadmill, walking at a steep angle rather than running, which I hate and will never attempt again. Not to mention Deep Water Liquid Lunch. Hopefully my kids will reach adulthood with at least some knowledge of how to keep moving -- though God knows what kind of spectactular couch technology will be available to them by the 2030's or thereabouts.