Do the Yak

We had a great weekend in Boothbay, Maine last weekend. The 'rents treated us to two nights in a suite at the Tugboat Inn (yes, the restaurant is partly made of a real tugboat that apparently could have used a better GPS system) and a trip on their boat, plus a side trip to Reid State Park, where the girls had a blast scampering away from the waves. Even more exciting was when a guy standing next to us who was surf-casting caught a small striped bass and pretneded to make it kiss his son before throwing it back (the fish, not the kid). An unexpected bonus was the Maine State Aquarium , which is only one room but very cool. They have one tank where you can pick up starfish and lobsters, and another wherer you can touch dogfish, which are small sharks who stcik their noses out of the water like, well, like dogs. Apparently they get some sort of cheap thrill from the slight electric current passing through a person's finger. Then they gave a kids' presentation about lobstering...

Like many people, I'm unhappy about the Israeli/Hezbollah conflict and the deaths of innocent civilians. I'm not going to take a position on who's right and wrong, but instead point out something else: Bush's staunch support of Israel. Now this isn't anything new in terms of U.S. policy, but Bush, in keeping with his general hawkishness, supports even the most ruthless militarists, including Ariel Sharon and now Israel's latest campaign. There's another reason Bush is an unusually uncritical backer of Israel, I think: dominionism . This is a philosophy in America that seeks to establish specific political policies based on religious beliefs -- specifically, conservative Christian beliefs. As the Wikipedia article notes (boldface is mine): "Within the Christian Right, concern over social, cultural, and political issues such as abortion, euthanasia, same-sex marriage, sympathy for Israel sometimes expressed as Christian Zionism, the banning of teacher-le...

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Last week's highlight, the colonoscopy, resulted in a completely clean bill of health. It actually had a not-too-bad side, which was the IV mixture of Versed and fentanyl. Completely conscious, but lost all track of time and felt MIGHTY relaxed. I think it may have caused some mild hallucinations as well, because I swear I could hear a faint voice in the background: Welcome to your fun-filled tour of Gutamala! My name is Colin and I'll be your guide today. Today we'll be looking at some architecture dating back to 1961, and we'll also be on the lookout for rare wildlife found only in this particular ecosystem. We should have good viewing since the atmosphere has cleared up considerably after some heavy precipitation the last couple of days. Keep your eyes peeled for life forms such as the extremely rare villous adenoma, sometimes known to laymen as "gut coral." If you do spot one, please don't break off a piece to take home for a souvenir. The tour opera...

Tonight is Sarah's second appearance on stage. The lower groups at her summer camp are putting on "Peter Pan." She didn't seem happy about it this morning. I asked why, thinking she was having stage fright, but hell no. She's bummed because she has to play John and doesn't get to be Peter Pan or Tinkerbelle. I assured this young Leo that she'll have plenty more chances. In case you were wondering, her first appearance was at the age of five days, when Ben and I attended a show by our old theater group. Since we knew everyone, we schmoozed with cast and crew before show time and trundled Sarah in her baby carrier across the dark stage to give her a kind of theatrical baptism, you should pardon the expression. If she was a boy, perhaps we would have waited until she was eight days old. Later, under cover of darkness in the audience, I fed her in what would turn out to the first of many semipublic breast-feedings because it was either that or inflict her scre...

The Hatfields and McCoys are at it again in the Middle East. It's all very complicated, involving an incendiary mix of oil, politics, history, religion and the Great Pumpkin. To test your knowledge of the latest chapter in this centuries-old conflict, here's a short quiz. Who really has the rights to the land currently occupied by the state of Israel? a. The Jews. b. The Palestinians. c. Either Irving Weinblatt or Hassan al-Rashid of Brooklyn N.Y., both of whom have come forward with identical winning lottery tickets, though Pope Clement claims his Aunt Tilly left Israel to him in her will and has documents to prove it. Why do Muslims and Jews hate each other? a. They're very cranky because it's so hot and they keep getting sand in their tighty whities. b. They have religious views with a common ancestor but totally different interpretations of God's wishes because the Torah-Bible-Koran transcribing secretary was out sick for a couple of weeks and they got this...

So I get to have my first-ever colonoscopy this week -- YEAH baby! It's totally no cause for concern (trust me on that or I'll have to reveal more information than even I want to know) but they just have to, you know, cover their asses. I write about it only because the preparations are fascinatingly detailed, sort of like a space shuttle launch. There's a step-by-step list of instructions like a NASA countdown: "At T-minus three days, start eating nothing but ulcer food... at T-minus 36 hours, chug somma this and gnaw on a fewa these ." And this is the LESS embarrassing stuff. Once I get to the hospital, I'll probably have to pass an orange to the next player without using my hands or chin, sing "Shake Your Booty" by K.C. and the Sunshine Band, and perform an interpretive dance wearing only a snapless cotton robe and a miner's helmet. Fortunately, I'm already preparing in my own way. This is an unparalleled opportunity for witty humor and I...