Friday, October 08, 2010

I have NO. SHAME.

And the proof is on Bye Bye Pie. Yes, that's MY ass looming out of your screen. Am I famous yet?

They SAY the Titanic hit an iceberg, but inquiring minds know better.
Last Saturday we drove to Connecticut and back to see an exhibit of Titanic artifacts. I've seen some version once or twice before, but this was a chance for the kids to absorb some of my sick fascination with this event. The artifacts were fairly lame, though the pictures and text on the walls were quite good. Turns out there are six sets of goodies touring the world at any one time, so RMS Titanic Ltd. is raking it in.

This is not the Titanic story.
The real downside, however, was that the exhibit was at Foxwoods, which I have never had an interest in visiting, and this just confirms it. The first thing you notice when you walk is is the aroma of stale cigarette smoke, which kind of goes nicely with the hideous turquoise carpeting and other decor. There are several casinos, including one -- ONE! smoke-free casino, and of course tons of restaurants. It was mid-afternoon and lines were out the door at some buffet joint -- probably all-you-can-eat.

The average Foxwoods customer,
minus the oxygen prongs in the nose.
Which brings us to the other depressing thing about Foxwoods: the clientele are overwhelmingly (a) old, (b) fat, (c) trashy, (d) smoking their brains out, or (e) all of the above. I remember when I was about to visit Las Vegas on business in the late 1980s. I was primed for wretched excess, bad taste and buttloads of neon, but some part of me still harbored an image of Rat Pack-type people gambling -- well-dressed, throwing ill-gotten money around, boozy, tacky and faintly criminal. Man, was I disappointed. Most of the customers were doughy middle-aged folk on their big vacation from Iowa, sitting like zombies in front of the slot machines, smoking and mindlessly pulling the handle over and over, even if the rapid clink of coins meant they'd won something. It was colorful and gaudy, but after a few minutes I;'m saying to myself, how much fun can this be, really? Same clientele at Foxwoods, only it gets worse: no mechanical slots with spinning wheels going CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK (all digital, of course), and -- get this -- no clinky coins. No flashing the cash at all. Everything is done via "Dream Cards." You buy chips and cash in winnings with a stupid debit-card thing. SO. BOGUS.

1 comment:

Odie Langley said...

It is really a shame how people can ruin something special with smoke and a lack of concern.


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