Wednesday, April 23, 2008


On vacation in Florida. Sunshine: excellent. Pool water: superb. Relief from feeding kids, grocery shopping, doing laundry, planning the days, generally feeling stressed for little reason: not so much. Ben, like his father and stepmother, is all in favor of not planning and just letting the days drift by, which is what you're supposed to do on vacation, right? Except I've turned into a planning and control freak who can't get myself to just lie in a chaise lounge by the pool for more than 10 minutes without jumping up to do something, get something else to read, write something on a to-do list, look up something in the Yellow Pages as I quiver from Internet withdrawal (this is being typed at the public computer at the club, reached via scenic golf cart ride).

This all may have to do with stopping the Prozac, which I did about two months ago because I was between doctors/insurance plans and my scrip had no refills. Two results: way more energy (no more fighting the urge for midday naps every day -- yay!) but also more ADD-ish behavior and am irritation/frustration level that has plummeted to absolute zero. As in repressing the urge (sometimes not successfully) to scream at family members for tiny or nonexistent infractions. When I get back, I'm finding a new shrink and figuring out if a different SSRI is in order. I love the energy but the rest of it we could all do without, obviously.

One thing that greatly reduces The Bitchiness is steady application of solar heat. So back to the poolside we go. Maybe a water park ride would calm me down...

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