Friday, January 27, 2006

Odds and ends

1. More proof (in addition to this story I mentioned a while back) that nature is icky.

2. A hilarious blog I only recently discovered is Go Fug Yourself. It's slightly reminiscent of Mr. Blackwell's annual trashin' of bad fashion, but way, way better. These blog writers are gifted. Another blog that had a pretty funny post recently is Defective Yeti. This is sure to be enjoyed by anyone who's had dealings with mucus-y toddlers.

3. Best media quote of the young year (albeit a restatement of something said in 2003): "Masturbating a horseshoe crab takes a special technique, but it's worth learning... The sperm are amazing." You can find the source here, in the fifth paragraph under the subhead "A Steady Rise." Seriously.

4. I gotta go down to Target intimate apparel and get me a few pairs of these... The piece of clothing in question relates to a project called [random] search and is described as “a subtle, reactive undergarment. It records, shares and studies the experience of invasive airport searches on behalf of our silent, abiding, fearful bodies.” A friend astutely posed the question of whether the description in the first sentence actually refers to “gasping wedgies.” Now how much would you pay for a subtle, reactive undergarment? Could such a thing provide extra, um, stimulation once you've switched it on? Is this what the Santas wear during those Lumpy Lap mall sessions? It certainly doesn't sound like something for those with silent, abiding, fearful bodies. Comments, anyone?

5. The kids are very much enjoying “Doe, a Deer” since they heard it multiple times during a long car drive back from New Jersey. The song, of course, is chirped by Julie Andrews in “The Sound of Music,” which some call “The Sound of Mucus” because of its saccharine qualities. This puts me in the mind of two alternate versions of the song I've heard. One has new lyrics supplied some time back by Homer Simpson* while the other had the same lyrics but in a somewhat unusual setting. The movie was playing on the big screen at the Coolidge Corner Theater and was billed as an “interactive” event. Attendees were handed some items on their way in -- for example, a swatch of gold-and-white cloth to wave during the scene when Julie Andrews cuts up the drapes to make play clothes for the litter of Von Trapps. The event was hosted by a cheerful young man who got on stage before the movie started and expostulated with a certain amount of body language about “HUNKY Captain Von Trapp!”

6. Here’s a clever little web movie summing up last year for our man Bush.

7. Those of us who’ve worked for newspapers know that a lot of errors get made under the daily avalanche of words and deadlines. While some are scarcely noticed, a lot of them are rather embarrassing for the paper, but can be unintentionally funny as well, as one can see from this year-end roundup from Regret the Error.

* Dough, the stuff that buys me beer.
Ray, the guy who brings me beer.
Me, the guy who drinks the beer.
Far, a long way to go for beer.
So, I'll have another beer.
La, I'll have another beer.
Tea, no thanks I'm having beer.
That will bring us back to...
(reaching the crescendo of his toast, Homer looks into his beer mug, which is empty) ...DOH!!!

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