Do the Yak

Today we bring you... Photoshopped Richard Scarry book covers . Last night we watched Olympic curling even though none of us has the faintest clue as to the rules. So we just imitated their language and threw in some random cricket terms, like, "Wow, the hog on that set of overs really curled his wicket in the third end!" Mostly I just love watching the sweepers look like old-time janitors on lots of Dexedrine. Of course today I had to learn at least a little bit about what I was watching, so I went to the Source of All Knowledge, Wikipedia. I'd thought that the number of similarly baffled people accessing the curling page had to be enough to crash their servers, but it popped right up for me. Huh.

...of Sockington , the cat who has 1.5 million followers on his Twitter feed . Milo would like you to know that he's a lot more interesting than Sockington. Just this morning, in honor of the Winter Olympics, he had a particularly lengthy game of drop hockey. This is where he jumps into the bathtub right after someone has showered, sits near the tap, and catches the drops as they fall from the faucet every few seconds. He swipes at them sort of like you would hit a hockey puck, then licks his paw. Did I ever tell you the story of how we picked him for adoption from the crowd of potential pets at the cat shelter? We looked at many cats in their cages and read their cards, immediately eliminating any that said the cat was not good with kids (at the time, Sarah and Becky were two and a half and 12 months old). I liked the look of this cat as soon as I saw him, with his tabby markings nicely interspersed with white. But we had to see how he would behave, so we took him for a test dri...

Olympics -- we love 'em. The girls clamor for ice dancing (usually on too late) while Ben sucks in air through his teeth as he watches YouTube clips of horrifying ski-jumping crashes. * * * Sarah has a new talent that is driving rusted railroad spikes through my skull: she has learned to make a noise exactly like when you blow on a comb wrapped with tissue paper. OK so maybe (no, definitely) I'm oversensitive to noises, but this one takes the cake -- every time she starts, I yell within milliseconds. I thought it couldn't get worse... until she brought home a long skinny balloon and started trying to make a balloon animal out of it. This involves a lot of twisting and sque-e-e-eaking and OH MY GOD IT'S GOING TO POP AND MAKE MY EYEBALLS EXPLODE JUST BEFORE I HIT THE CEILING. A dark quiet room is what I need at all times... * * * Becky is going to be eight in two days. She is getting too big and too independent to curl up on my lap. This saddens me. She and her f...

Oh my God, the agony of suppressing shrieks of laughter... For anyone who's ever had a cat with Issues, this one's for you: I live in a world of fur – Not the sexy 70’s porn kind either ...and then somehow I found this picture of The World's Most Disgusting Tattoo That Doesn't Even Involve Human Private Parts (but the cat, well...). That is all for today.

Apparently not everyone loves "The Sound of Music," including Christopher Plummer and the author of Sweet Juniper , who gets a little more peeved every time his wife makes him watch the movie: "I liked this family better before Sandy Duncan came along." "That's Julie Andrews." "Who?" "Why am I supposed to feel bad for these kids living in their giant mansion in the mountains?" "Because their totalitarian father didn't allow them music after their mother died." "I thought Sandy Duncan was their mother?" "No, she's the nun who takes care of them." "Those kids better have leprosy." "I know another girl who's sixteen, Liesl: her name is Anne and she lives in an Amsterdam attic and your creepy boyfriend is going to keep her from seeing seventeen." "Why are they frolicking so?" "Sister Maria is teaching them to sing." " 'La, a not...